Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Is Mike Pence homosexual?

I grew up surrounded by holy rollers, so I am familiar with all sorts of weird Christian beliefs: canopy theory, serpent handling, speaking in tongues. But Mike Pence's rule against eating with a woman unless his wife is along is beyond weird.

I could get it if he was talking about those turn-of-the-19th-century restaurants with private seduction rooms in the back. But as far as I know, those restaurants have all closed.

So is there a reasonable explanation for his policy? I can think of only one: Mike Pence is gay, the lunch rule is a beard.

Pence is so ostentatiously signaling that he is so manly that no woman is immune to his allure if she so much as gets across the table from him because he doesn't want his bigot voters to suspect he's a flaming queen.

1 comment:

  1. "... he doesn't want his bigot voters to suspect he's a flaming queen."

    Wow. That is some seriously weapons grade nasty, disgusting, progressive (but I repeat myself) you have going on there.

    Alternate explanations:

    -- Avoiding even the appearance of impropriety is at least as important as avoiding impropriety itself.

    -- No one has ever fallen off a cliff they weren't standing on the edge of.

    But why resort to the obvious when you can be a steaming bucket of progressive hate instead?